Wow…my head is spinning. The following stories need no introduction. Hmmmm…that was an introduction, wasn’t it? Oh well…
- A 46-year old UK man broke his father’s hip when he attacked the old man for bringing the wrong KFC order home.
- A US man set a gas station toilet on fire and told police that he did it for “religious reasons.”
- A UK man died in a house fire sparked by his overheated TV. The man had committed to watching hours of Olympic coverage – the TV couldn’t handle it.
- Ultra-Orthodox Jewish Israeli men now have the option of wearing glasses to blur their vision and prevent them from seeing immodestly dressed women.
- In the UK, some citizens are trying to bar a Canadian preacher’s entry because they object to his ‘healing techniques’. For example in one situation, the preacher said that the “Holy Spirit” had told him to kick a sick elderly woman in the face with his biker boot. “Just as my boot made contact with her nose, she fell under the power of God.”
- An Indian company will produce Valentine’s Day cards from elephant dung.
- Scientists have developed a nasal spray called the ‘cuddle drug’ to help couples who fight constantly. The spray calms women and makes men more sensitive and positive during arguments.
- Psychologists have found that it is better to get angry than take the ‘forgive and forget’ route. This is based on the idea that forgiveness may eventually build up to resentment.
- A US man called 911 to ask if they would be able to give him a ride to buy beer.
10. A UK man almost burned his house down when he tried to dry his socks and underwear in the microwave.
11. An Indian man has not bathed in 38 years. He stopped taking baths in 1974 when his priest advised that this could increase his chances of having a son. Since then, he has fathered 7 daughters, no sons.
12. A US man ordered a TV from Amazon.com but received a semiautomatic assault rifle instead.
13. A study has found that when men are under stress they find heavier women more attractive.
14. In China, doctors removed a spider from a woman’s ear after she’d gone to the hospital to complain of itching inside her left ear. The spider had been in her ear for 5 days before her trip to the hospital.
15. In the UK, a seaside sandcastle competition was called off because there was insufficient sand at the seaside.
16. A US man attacked his mother and smeared dog feces on her face. According to the police report, “The defendant stated that he did not push her but he did rub dog defecation on her face because she yelled at him.”
17. In Norway, a woman tried to steal a 42-inch TV from a store by hiding it under her skirt.
18. A US man pleaded guilty to breaking into a barn and performing oral sex on a female horse.
19. Bolt won the title “greatest-ever sprinter” and on that same day he let the world know that he had no respect for Carl Lewis who’d tried to take away his thunder. According to Carl Lewis, “Countries like Jamaica do not have a random (drugs testing) program, so they can go months without being tested. I’m not saying anyone is on anything, but everyone needs to be on a level playing field.”
Consider yourselves up to speed…