What a Wick: the last 7 days in 15 (16th to 22nd June 2012)

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What unpredictable weather! There was Thunder then Heat, and a flood of criticism concerning Miami Heat’s NBA championship reign is expected in the coming days.  Say what you want, LeBron wanted his ring and he got it. Who else got what they wanted? Huh?

 

  1. Got caught: In Kenya, a cheating husband checked into a hotel with his mistress and ran into his wife coming out of a room where she’d been getting it on with her boy-toy. The cheating pair fought in the hotel.
  2. Got it bad: A survey found that many iPhone owners would sooner give up sex than do without their device.
  3. Got laidback:Two UK pilots declared an emergency because they were too exhausted to land the plan. They landed using the autopilot function.
  4. Got carried away: A US woman crashed her car, left her three children in the vehicle and went off to eat ice cream (in the nude) at a drug store.
  5. Got a move on: A Chinese farmer walked his 5,000 ducks through busy traffic in search of food.
  6. Got offended: A US man is suing a company for what he considers discrimination during the recruitment process.  H e was asked,  “to identify every church he has attended over the past several years; where and when [he] was ‘saved’ and the circumstances that led up to it.”
  7. Got talent? The 450 lb US man suffering with a 100-pound scrotum has turned down the offers to have a $1 million corrective surgery performed for free. The man enjoys the ‘fame’ his condition has brought him; he’s having a ball!
  8. Got bogged down:A US woman was stuck to a toilet seat at Walmart for an hour before being rescued by paramedics; someone had placed Super Glue on the seat.
  9. Got a rise out of her: A UK mother mistook her son’s creative writing assignment for a suicide note. After reading the note, she hurried to her son’s room, convinced that he’d committed suicide.

10. Got back at her: In Sweden, a husband cut off his wife’s lower lip and ate it after she’d asked for a divorce. “He did it so that she would never be able to kiss again and said ‘I’ll get four years, but you’re getting a life sentence’.”

11. Got a fair shake: Prison staffs in a US state have challenged inmates to try to bypass the new locks; this is their way of testing the security of those locks. If prisoners manage to break the locks, they get free food. 

12. Got off on the wrong foot: An attendant at an Apple store in the US refused to sell an Ipad to an Iranian teen because of her nationality.  He explained, ‘I just can’t sell this to you. Our countries have bad relations.”

13. Got nothing on: In Europe, a supermarket promised the first 100 customers to shop in the nude a free basket of groceries. Approximately 250 showed up stark naked to take advantage of this offer.

14. Got it off her chest: In the US, a breastless cancer survivor reported that she’d been banned from swimming topless at her public pool.

15. Got a bit messy: A survey has found that birds are more likely to excrete on red cars, less likely to do so green ones.

 

Consider yourselves up to speed…

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