What a Wick: the last 7 days in 17 (9th to 15th June 2012)

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YOLO. You Only Live Once. That’s what Drake advocates, so people out there are YOLO-ing all day. According to the Urban Dictionary, YOLO is “Mainly used to defend doing something ranging from mild to extreme stupidity.” It’s not Oxford, but I’ll accept that definition.

So wait, lemme get this straight…

  1. YOLO means you live to regret? Drake and Chris Brown allegedly fought (yes, physically) over Rihanna.
  2. YOLO means you should leave your children to their own devices? The PM of the UK and his wife accidentally left their 8-year-old daughter in a pub.
  3. YOLO means you must live on borrowed time? Some school cafeteria workers in the US have won the right to eat expired food, at their own risk.
  4. YOLO means you should leave commonsense alone? In Kazakhstan, a high school student was caught cheating on an exam. His cheat sheet was 35 feet long and contained 25,000 answers.
  5. YOLO means you should leave your responsibilities to others? A Spanish furniture maker has introduced the bed that makes itself.
  6. YOLO means you must leave a legacy? A US man attacked his parents because they wanted him to kill a cockroach, but he wanted it to live.
  7. YOLO means you shouldn’t live to tell the tale? A dog lover in South Africa chose to remember his dead dog by wearing its lead around his neck; however, the lead got caught in the wheel of the vehicle he was driving and snapped his neck.
  8. YOLO means you can’t leave well enough alone? A Swedish party put forward a motion to force men to sit down rather than stand up when urinating in office toilets.
  9. YOLO means you should live large? In the UK, the fire service had to be called into the hospital to cut a sex toy off an old man’s penis. The man had spent 36 hours trying to remove the toy himself.

10. YOLO means you should live hand to mouth? Pizza vending machines are coming to the US.

11. YOLO means you should pretend to LIVESTRONG? Doping allegations continue to plague Lance Armstrong.

12. YOLO means it should be short-lived? An Austrian groom was caught having sex with a server at his wedding reception a few hours after tying the knot. The bride’s father caught him, stopped the celebration and sent all the guests home.

13. YOLO means you should leave good manners behind? The World Burping Federation, in Geneva, organized the first Burping Championship in hopes of changing how people view belching.

14. YOLO means you can’t live together? A primary school in Australia forbids students from touching each other – no high fives, no hugs, no contact sports…

15. YOLO means you should leave a bad impression? According to a survey, approximately 33% of young adults do not know that eggs come from chickens.

16. YOLO means you should live a lie? Housebites is a restaurant based in the UK. They prepare and deliver meals along with the dirty dishes to homes where hosts want to make their houseguests believe that they cooked those meals themselves.

17. YOLO means you should live high off the hog?! In the UK, an obese woman who’d had surgery to shrink her stomach died from overeating. The woman suffocated when the food couldn’t all fit into her stomach and so clogged her throat.

 

Consider yourselves up to speed….

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