What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19(4th – 11th February 2011)

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Valentine’s Day is almost here, so where is the love? Self-love, love for others, love of things, love of power…. Surely one of those must be in here somewhere. Help me find it nah.

  1. A US man was caught on tape robbing a store. His approach: “Could you do me a favor? Empty the till for me please and put it right here. . I’m robbing you, sir…I’ve got kids that need to be fed, sir. . I really am sorry to have to do this.”
  2. Witches in Romanian will be jailed or fined for making wrong predictions.
  3. A TV channel in Hong Kong hopes to encourage men to cook by introducing a cooking show hosted by a naked woman.
  4. A US store has launched its Valentines Day promotion: customers are able to exchange their guns for sex toys. “You never know, maybe there will be someone who says, ‘I’ve got this gun that I could go rob a liquor store with, or maybe I can get me a blowup doll for Valentine’s Day, instead,” the store owner rationalized.
  5. An immigration officer in the UK tried to get rid of his wife by placing her on a terrorist watch list when she visited Pakistan 3 years ago. She spent those 3 years in Pakistan trying to get back to the UK, not understanding why they would not allow her into her homeland.
  6. A US man called 911 to find out how much trouble he could get into for growing one single marijuana plant. He was arrested.
  7. A Frenchman alleges that a medication he was taking for Parkinson’s disease caused a personality change; this straight man reported an addiction to gay sex and gambling when he took the drug.
  8. “Confession: A Roman Catholic App” is now available to help Roman Catholics keep track of their sins until they can make it to a confessional.
  9. The US is against Aristide’s return to Haiti at this time, fearing that his presence could distract from important matters.

10. A New York restaurant makes it possible for customers to purchase items made of the skin of the animal they’d enjoyed as a meal.

11. A US man faces charges after officers found cocaine hidden in the foreskin of his penis.

12. Buju Banton’s new trial starts on Valentine’s Day. He now faces four charges, instead of the initial two.

13. A Chilean woman, who wanted to keep her boyfriend from flying off to a new job, grounded his flight by calling in a bomb threat. “I’m sorry, but I did it for love,” she said after being charged.

14. Egypt’s president has refused to step down; however he has transferred most of his powers to his vice president.

15. In France, police arrested a couple in the middle of a sex game; they caught the 63-year-old female leading her companion down a busy street by a leash attached to his penis.

16. Some Britons are single on account of their pets: 80% of dog owners reported that they would not date someone who didn’t like their pet.

17. A pet dog chewed off three of his owner’s toes in the US. The man has no feeling in that foot so he had no clue when it happened.

18. A UK teen died a few moments after her first kiss. She died from SADS (sudden adult death syndrome).

19. In Australia, children as young as 10 are being enrolled in rehab for alcohol addiction.

Consider yourselves up to speed….

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