What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (29th January to 4th February, 2011)

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Think of the weirdest subject matter, and I’m sure you will be able to locate a book written on it. I came across what I considered some pretty odd titles, but when I looked at this week’s news I realized that the titles were not that way off after all. Some people have been reading; others need to get on it pronto!

 

  1. What’s Wrong With My Snake? By John Rossi: A Jamaican man paid a prostitute but was not able to maintain an erection to perform so he reported the incident to the police: “I go over the station and tell dem dat mi never get the sumting from di woman so dem fi mek mi get back di money dat mi pay, but dem sey dem couldn’t help mi wid dat.”
  2. Getting Out of Debt and Staying Out by Tony Palmer: An IMF report found some Caribbean countries among the most highly indebted in the world.
  3. 3. Are Women Human?: and Other International Dialogues by Catharine MacKinnon: “This act is anti-ANC and anti-revolutionary. This act is defamatory, insensitive and undermining of woman’s integrity.”  These are the sentiments of South Africa’s governing party regarding eating sushi off the bodies of models in bikinis.
  4. The Killer Condom by Ralph Konig: Souvenir condoms have been produced to commemorate Prince William’s impending wedding. According to the producers, the Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction combine “the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be,” and add that buyers should “lie back and think of England.”
  5. Do it Yourself Coffins by Dale Power: A judge described a British woman as “despicable and calculating for taking money from grieving pet owners for a dignified burial and instead leaving the animals’ remains rotting in a field.”
  6. The Origin of Faeces by Mark Brown: Virgin Atlantic published some weird questions frequently asked by passengers. The list includes “Can you turn the engines down, they’re too noisy!” “Please can the Captain stop the turbulence?” and “Is there a McDonald’s on board?”
  7. The Presidency and Domestic Policy by Michael A Genovese: Mariah Carey made sure that Obama and the First Lady were the first to know that she was pregnant with twins.

 

  1. How to Pee Standing Up by Anna Skinner: Italian researchers claim that the model used for the Mona Lisa painting by Leonardo da Vinci was actually a man.
  2. Teach Your Wife to Be a Widow by Donald I. Rogers: A study found that people who play virtual driving games are more likely crash their cars in the real world.

10. Why Prayer Kills Self Reliance by H. P. Blavatsky: A couple was convicted of involuntary manslaughter for praying instead of seeking medical attention to try to save their two-year-old son who was suffering from pneumonia. According to their church it is sinful to get medical care; however the church allows dental care e.g teeth-cleaning and cavity filling.

11. How to Avoid Work by William J. Reilly: The ‘World Guy’ is an American man who is pushing a giant globe across the United States in an effort to raise funds for the American Diabetes Association.

12. The Making of a Moron by Niall Brennan: A US teacher who called an African American student a “Haitian” in a derogatory manner has been suspended.

13. The Gallery of Regrettable Food by James Lileks: Britain is investing in larger ambulances to accommodation obese passengers.

14. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People by Toby Young: Lady Gaga’s first perfume will smell like blood and semen.

15. It’s a Gas! A Study of Flatulence by Eric S. Rabkin: President of Malawi hopes to “mold responsible and disciplined citizens” by making public farting illegal.

16. How to Start Your Own Country by Erwin Strauss: Egyptians continued to demand their president’s immediate resignation this week; he’s led Egypt for 30 years.

17. What’s Your Poo Telling You? by M.D., Anish Sheth and Josh Richman:  A 3-year-old in the US was suspended from her preschool for one month for not being properly potty trained. The school thought that 8 ‘accidents’ in a month crossed the line.

18. High Performance Stiffened Structures by IMechE: A German got the word MINI tattooed on his penis to win a Mini Cooper

19. Cooking With Pooh by Mouse Works: In Finland a group called the Food Liberation Army ‘kidnapped’ McDonald’s mascot Ronald MacDonald and posted a message on YouTube saying: “We love burgers, fries and McDonald’s, but we can no longer watch in silence as the food we love is being destroyed and brought to shame because of greed and indifference.”

 

Consider yourselves up to speed…

 

 

 

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