“People are more attached and loyal to their signs than they thought,” said Eric Francis, editor of PlanetWaves.net. And he’s so right. I don’t particularly believe the astrological mumbo jumbo, yet I was bothered by the zodiac realignment. I had come to accept my place in this world as a Gemini, and now I’m a Taurus! Arrrgh! Change is not always good, but it is constant. This week, the changes were:
- For the worse: Former Haitian dictator Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier returned to Haiti after 25 years in exile. “We need to shake everything up so that the elections are annulled and new elections are held in which Duvalier can run,” his spokesman said.
- Questionable: Deposed former President Aristide is also looking to return to Haiti.
- A given: A Swiss bank (with a 44 page dress code) has decided to be a little more lenient: they will allow employees to wear red underwear, black nail polish and even eat garlic. (Yay!)
- Controversial: In Scotland, over £25,000 was spent on entertainment and treats for prisoners during last Christmas season.
- Not forthcoming: In the UK, a cat was summoned for jury duty. The cat’s owner has tried to get an exemption because the animal “doesn’t speak or understand English” but the court refuses to change its mind. She has been told that the cat “must attend”.
- Awe-inspiring: A 90-year-old lady in Germany changed the perception of a granny when she successfully defended herself against three robbers who tried to get into her apartment.
- Bad for business: Iran has prohibited any commercial promotion of Valentine’s Day in an effort to combat Western cultural influences.
- Unpredictable: A Laos man killed his pregnant wife because he wanted the feotus to make a lucky charm to help him win the lottery.
- Eye opening: In the US, burglars stole the cremated remains of a man and two dogs; they snorted the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine.
10. From top to bottom: A ‘garbage hotel’ opened in Spain. The establishment is made of rubbish (literally). Guests stay free.
11. In the air: A 21-year-old UK man stabbed four people , killing one of them, because people at the party were criticizing him for farting.
12. Welcomed: Darren Sammy will captain the West Indian team for ICC World Cup 2011.
13. Inevitable: The United States resumed the deportation of Haitians; this had been stopped after last year’s earthquake.
14. Quite critical: The Vatican (yes, you heard right) has voiced concerns about the latest sex allegations made against the Italian prime minister. The PM has been accused of having sex with an under aged prostitute.
15. Required: “Perhaps next time the honourable gentleman will be more selective in the ties he wears in the chamber and then we won’t need the musical accompaniment,” a Speaker said to a British lawman whose musical tie went off during his speech.
16. Unexpected: In New Zealand, a love bite/hickey on a woman’s neck resulted in temporary and partial paralysis. Doctors found that the love bite had been placed near a major artery.
17. Necessary: The court denied the claim of a US prisoner who sought compensation ($ US 75,000) for the “extreme emotional distress” he suffered from watching the reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
18. Good: St. Lucian born Mara Thompson, widow of late Barbadian Prime Minister David Thompson, beat her opponent by a substantial 4 613 votes to 553 to win the St. John seat in the by-election.
19. Coming: A US man sues a Las Vegas escort company because one of the company’s strippers performed a sexual act on him in Las Vegas where prostitution is illegal. “I would like the court to close the business. I also would like to get my $275 payment back and a $1.8 million verdict for the tragic event that happened.”
Consider yourselves up to speed….