What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (25th September to 1st October, 2010)

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(Sorry..i forgot to post this one from last week)

Millions of songs have been written and you can bet that there will be millions more. There appears to be a song for every occasion. Lost someone dear to you?  Welcomed your first born into this world?  Got played for a fool? Chances are some playlist somewhere will include at least one song detailing your circumstances. What separates a good song from a great song? Its capacity for application across a wide range of situations! I prove my point below:

 

  1. “Whomp, There It Is” by Tag Team: A UK man sued a supermarket for over $26,000 after he found a whole mouse baked into a loaf of bread he’d bought from them.
  2. “Legalize It” by Peter Tosh: A marijuana farmer in the US is suing his landlord for negligence. The landlord failed to repair a damaged lock and thirty-five of the farmer’s plants (valued at $1000 each) were stolen when thieves broke into the building where he housed his illegal operations.
  3. “Another One Bites The Dust” by Queen. A US city is so financially strapped that it was forced to lay off 3 of the city’s 12 policemen as well as the drug-sniffing dog.
  4. “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers: A US man beat the odds when he won the lottery twice; he won $1 million in June and $2 million in September.
  5. “Willie Dead” by Mighty Sparrow: A former French minister experienced a slip of the tongue while speaking to a TV station about foreign investment. She said, “When I see some of them looking for returns of 20 or 25 percent, at a time when fellatio is close to zero, and in particular in a slump, that means we are destroying businesses.” She meant inflation.
  6. “I Gotta Feeling (That Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night)” by Black Eyed Peas): A Brit got home to find a stray cat inside of his house. He called the emergency number for the British police and reported: “There’s a cat in my kitchen I don’t know how to deal with him.”
  7. “In My Head” by Jason Derulo: A Brazilian who’d had a knife stuck in his head for 3 years finally got it removed.
  8. “A Little Bit of Heaven” by Natalie Cole: The Church of England introduced the UK’s first Christian Easter egg; there’s reference to the resurrection of Jesus on the box. This was introduced to combat the widespread commercialization of Easter.
  9. “Upside Down” by Diana Ross: The US apologized for flying the Philippine’s flag upside down at a event. For Filipinos an inverted flag means that their country is at war.

10. “What’s A Man To Do” by Usher: Working fathers in Europe are now entitled to  “breastfeeding leave” if their spouses are employed. These men get one and a half hours off daily for 9 months after the birth of their children.

11. “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler: New Zealand researchers found that native birds suffered from body odor that make them easy targets for predators; consequently the researchers plan to develop a deodorant for these birds.

12. “Ain’t No Woman Like You” by Trace Adkins: Trinidad placed first, Guyana second and St Lucia third in the 2010 Gay Caribbean USA Pageant.

13. “Chant Down Babylon” by Bob Marley: Buju’s case was declared a mistrial, he was denied bail and he will be retried in December.

14. “End Of The Road” by Boys to Men: Wyclef Jean was hospitalized “suffering from stress and fatigue based on the grueling eight weeks he’s had.” Last week he ended his run for Haitian presidency.

15. “I Swear” by All-4-One: British research discovered that cussing actually helped people deal with pain better.

16. “Can’t Breathe” by Leona Lewis: Fire Trucks in Boston will be equipped with small oxygen masks for pets.

17. “Can You Stop The Rain” by Peabo Bryson: Tropical storm Nicole devastated Jamaica.

18. “Feeling Hot Hot Hot” by Arrow: The French are quite anti-exercise. It’s to the extent that a French Philosopher’s response to seeing his president jogging was: “I would rather see the president in his suit than in his sweat.”

19. “Electric Boogie” by Bunny Wailer: A Germany whipped out his member and urinated on a plug socket on a dance floor in a club; this resulted in a short circuit. The club had to be closed for the night while electricians fixed the problem.

 

Consider yourselves up to speed…

 

 

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