What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (18th to 24th September, 2010)

Standard

“You boung to leave your house looking like that?”

Do you believe that a vagrant said that to a friend of mine when she stepped out on an errand one Sunday morning? Yes, she admitted that she’d just removed her  weave the night before and that she’d just rolled off her bed, but to get dissed like that by a vagrant….Whoa! Made me think…maybe vagrants are laughing at us while we’re busy pitying and scorning them. Why do we think that all homeless people are unhappy? There may be some who count it a blessing not to have to worry…

  1. …About issues associated with having dough: The winner of the Karaoke World Championships received 1 million Russian dumplings as the prize.
  2. …About facing dilemmas on the job: A US official who went over to serve a tax warrant to the owner of a strip club ended up paying $15 for a lap dance.
  3. …About getting gifts for anyone: A prominent Cuban has invited Obama and his family to visit Cuba; she asked that the Obamas bring along the five Cuban agents who’ve been imprisoned in the US since 1998.
  4. …About the hassles of moving: Wyclef Jean has announced that he is abandoning is bid to become president of Haiti; instead, he’s going to focus on his new album.
  5. …About hygiene: A US woman stabbed a man for taunting her about her smelly feet.
  6. …About getting tested: Irish police will use “test youths” to catch stores selling alcohol to the under aged.
  7. …About being caught, because jail is an upgrade: Two Brits have been found guilty of illegally selling human sperm; the transactions took place online and the sperm was delivered via courier to the women.
  8. …About unwanted guests: A British teen had to cancel her party because she mistakenly invited the entire Facebook community to her birthday bash, and got 21,000 attendance confirmations.
  9. …About politicians being real with the electorate: In Sweden the election report shows that some people voted for Donald Duck, the king and God in the recent general elections.

10. …About supporting a mate: In the UK, two dogs housed at an animal shelter will be married soon. The staffs claim that the dogs have been inseparable since they arrived at the shelter.

11. …About lustful looks: KFC is recruiting college girls to advertise on the backsides of their sweat pants.  Those who accept will receive KFC gift certificates and US $500.

12. …About charity work: An Australian artist wants Oprah Winfrey to strip and have her body painted for charity.

13. …About being bothered by obnoxious researchers: 1.5 % of UK’s population claims to be gay or bisexual.

14. …Being sued: David Beckham plans to sue a prostitute for £5 million because she alleges he was involved in a threesome with her.

15. …About people walking ‘out’ on them: Iranian president, Ahmadinejad, claimed that the US planned and executed the September 11th attacks to stimulate its economy and protect Israel. Many protested by leaving during his speech at the UN General Assembly.

16. …About friends liking them for what they have: It was reported that 10 friends and close relatives of former TnT PM received over $84 million in legal fees between 2001 and 2010.

17. …About people engaging them in small talk: Buju Banton tried discrediting all the video and audio evidence in his case by saying, “I was just talking garbage with him…I was trying to impress this guy, and that’s what got me in the hot seat I’m sitting in now.”

18. …About being credited: US researchers reported that Moses might not have been responsible for the parting of the Red Sea chronicled in the Bible. They’re acknowledging the occurrence but insisting that it wasn’t Moses but a strong east wind that caused the water to divide.

19. About paying bills: Queen Elizabeth asked the British government to dip into funds set aside for poor people to help pay heating bills on her palaces.

Consider yourselves up to speed…

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