This week I came across a report stating that older folks usually take pleasure in reading negative news items about young people because it makes them feel better about themselves. The thought of tanty chuckling as she reads a heartbreaking story involving a youngster is quite chilling. So this Wick, I made an effort to present the positive; I’m not providing tanty, mama and dem with any more opportunities to gloat:
- Young people can be socially responsible: Russia’s finance minister urged citizens to drink and smoke more. “If you smoke a pack of cigarettes, that means you are giving more to help solve social problems such as boosting demographics, developing other social services and upholding birth rates.”
- Young people are staying home instead of going out: The US realized a decline in the number of illegal immigrants from the Caribbean, for the first time in 20 years.
- Young people don’t ask for much: In the US, a homeless man snuck into someone’s hot tub and after a 10 hour bath he called 911 to say, “I just need a hug and a warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it.”
- Young people are happy people: An Australian principal upset many when he decided to change the words of a classic children’s song to suit the times. Instead of “gay your life must be” the kids were told to sing “fun your life must be”.
- Young people don’t always take the easy route: A US doctor who tried to sneak into her boyfriend’s house after he refused her entry was found stuck in the chimney — dead. She had attempted to get into the house through the chimney but had suffocated in there.
- Young people are capable of making mature decisions: The two-year-old Indonesian boy who smoked 40 cigarettes a day recently completed rehab and, according to reports, he has totally kicked the habit.
- Young people are not seasoned criminals: A US man purchased a cell phone online, but when he received it he realized that it was the same cell phone that had been stolen from him previously. All his numbers were still saved on the phone.
- Young people don’t forget the good in people: An Italian missed his ex-girlfriend so much after their breakup that he paid $18,000 to have a life-sized sex doll made of her.
- Young people can be ballsy: In a Serbian village bull, boar, camel, ostrich, kangaroo testicles are diet staples.
10. Young people take things in strides: Usain Bolt is inclined to believe that his rival Tyson Gay hates his guts. “I think Tyson sits at home and cusses me…He just really gets upset because every time he runs fast, I run faster than he does.”
11. Young people are not afraid of revealing their innermost feelings: I don’t hate Usain Bolt deep down inside (laughs),” Gay responded to Bolt’s comments (above).
12. Young people take education very seriously: The “Panda school” has just opened in China. The animals will play with weighing scales and climb trees as part of the curriculum.
13. Young people don’t drink as much: A chef has found a way to make beer into a fried snack. “Nobody has been able to fry a liquid before. It tastes like you took a bite of hot pretzel dough and then took a drink of beer.”
14. Young people believe in elevating others: A Venezuelan politician chose to offer breast implants as prizes in a raffle intending to raise funds for his election campaign.
15. Young people don’t discriminate: One quarter of the strippers in Britain possess university degrees.
16. Young people are not selfish; they care about others: A Japanese man who deliberately drove the wrong way on the highway and broke through several police barricades admitted, “I was sad that my pet cat died…I wanted to do something crazy.”
17. Young people don’t miss a beat especially when it counts: Many doctors are putting aside their stethoscopes and are making use of an iPhone app to listen to patients’ heartbeats.
18. Young people believe in keeping certain things private: A study found that one in 10 British men are unable to see their genitals because of their big bellies; 16% of those men could not recall the last time they’d seen their private parts.
19. Young people deserve a fighting chance: In Italy a baby was born brain damaged after two doctors started a physical fight during the delivery.
Consider yourselves up to speed…