What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (7th – 13th August, 2010)

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What does ‘normal’ mean to you on this day in 2010? Sometimes I come across news items and I question my definition of normalcy, but only after I pick my jaw up off the floor (I can’t concentrate in an untidy workspace). Yes, I am aware that I may in fact be the abnormal one –I eh saying no — but I still wonder,  ‘Is that normal?’

  1. “I was wearing what we would normally see at Trinidad and Tobago Carnival… pasties and body-paint art,” declared Ms. TnT Universe in response to the brouhaha over her topless photos.
  2. The impoverished North Korea hopes to settle the $10 million owing to the Czech Republic for equipment acquired during the Cold war; the Koreans are offering the aphrodisiac ginseng in lieu of cash.
  3. A health inspector in the US fined a restaurant after viewing a video of the chef in the restaurant’s kitchen. In the video the chef kissed and licked two toads, put them into his mouth and back onto the table where he was preparing patrons’ food.
  4. Wyclef Jean’s major plan for earthquake ravaged Haiti – govern in English and Creole, not the traditional Creole and French. Wyclef does not speak French and his Creole has been described as ‘rusty’.
  5. An American man will face jail time for faking seizures to avoid paying restaurant bills. His elaborate schemes always concluded with him receiving medical attention.
  6. In the US, doctors finally found the cause of a man’s breathing difficulties. Apparently there was a plant growing in his lung; it had sprouted from an inhaled pea.
  7. A Corfu native, desperate to secure a permanent job as a firefighter, resorted to secretly starting fires throughout the island and quelling them himself in the most heroic fashion.
  8. Turkish Airlines suspended 28 overweight flight attendants. The airline gave them six months to get in shape or else…
  9. In the US, four sisters gave birth to four babies within a four-day period.

10. An Indian man faces charges for selling his daughter for US$21 to purchase alcohol.

11. In Hong Kong, production has started on the world’s first 3D pornographic film. The estimated cost of production  – US$3.2 million.

12. 50% of American women and 25% of the men would admittedly choose being skinny over having sex this summer, if presented with the options.

13. The Nepalese zoo set up a special “honeymoon suite” at the zoo to encourage the endangered one-horned rhinos to mate and most importantly breed.

14. In the UK, workers hired to paint yellow lines on the road, painted over a dead hedgehog instead of removing it from the road.

15. A US judge denied a man’s appeal to legally change his name to ‘Boomer The Dog’.

16. In Switzerland a speeding ticket is calculated based on the individual’s salary and actual speed over the limit. A wealthy Swede will pay the world’s largest fine to date (£650,000) for driving at 185 mph.

17. 36 Nepalese are awaiting the verdict after being accused of killing 7 farmers in a battle over the plant referred to as the ‘Himalayan Viagra’.

18. Badman nuh wear G-string but he gets to keep a diary? One of Dudus’ top lieutenants was killed in Jamaica this week, and a diary detailing his activities and respect for his boss, Dudus Coke, was found on his person.

19. “The prisoners were being supervised at the time of the escape but there were armed persons on the outside perimeter who apparently sent a fence cutter to them and they able to make their way out, in view of wardens who are not armed,” St. Lucia’s National Security Minister reported after the jail break there.

Consider yourselves up to speed…

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