What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (10th – 16th July, 2010)

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? British scientists solved this mystery this week. They claim that the chicken came first. So in the spirit of follow-fashion, I have decided to tackle some popular philosophical questions. I’m sure you’ve pondered some of the questions below, and I aim to be helpful (as usual).

  1. What is beauty? Spain! They played the Beautiful game and won the World Cup.
  2. Who decides good and evil? I’m not sure, but Argentina legalized gay marriage this week. It’s the first Latin American nation to do so.
  3. What’s the mind – body connection? According to research, pear-shaped women are predisposed to memory loss.
  4. Is there a God? Yes definitely… but right now Paul, the octopus, is the one being revered for predicting the outcome of the World Cup. The animal has been made an honorary citizen of Spain.
  5. Do we really have soul mates? I’m not sure but the Chinese army is playing matchmaker by helping soldiers find love.
  6. Do humans have free will? Yes we do! Many Swiss have chosen to spend their summer taking care of their adopted cows. No one can force you to do that!!
  7. What is our duty in this world? That’s a hard one… A German policeman was awarded 7 additional vacation days because he insisted that getting in and out of uniform took on average 30 minutes a day, equaling 45 hours per year.
  8. Why do I live? Well, for Iranian adulteresses, it’s because death by stoning has been temporarily halted. But the debate continues.
  9. How can we be truly happy? The Italian prime minister answered this when he spoke to a group of ambassadors from 30 countries. He said, “Bring some good-looking girls over some time.”

10. Where do ideas and thoughts come from? Hmmm… That’s a toughie. An American had an idea to get custody of his son from his estranged wife. He hired a friend to shoot him, hoping to pin the crime on his wife’s boyfriend, but the shot killed him and his friend was charged with murder.

11. Is there such a thing as unconditional love? An Australian woman was ordered by the court to stop breastfeeding her 6-year-old son.

12. Will the world come to an end? According to Australians, it will because we have wild animals farting and burping all over de place. They recommend killing some of these animals to reduce carbon emissions and save the environment.

13. What is the meaning of life? I’m not sure really, because the St. Lucian man who brutally attacked his ex-girlfriend in the ‘mall chopping’ in 2009 only got 8 years behind bars.

14. Who decides what is reality? T&T’s opposition leader chided Kamla for telling reporters that T&T is not Caricom’s ATM machine. This indicated her unwillingness to bear the cost for regional security.

15. What/who is man? Apparently not, the South African teen, Caster Semenya.  She has returned to competition following controversial gender tests.

16. What is the purpose of it all? The Brazilian model who enlarged her breasts to 38KKK (the largest in the world) is presently fighting for her life due to an infection contracted during recent breast augmentation surgery.

17. What is the place of man in the universe? Well, nowadays, on Facebook! A Bermudian fugitive has been using Facebook to taunt police. His posts included “I’m just chillin playin p.s3. Lol” and “I’m a tv star now.”

18.  What does the future hold? Robots! Researchers in the Netherlands have been putting together a special language (ROILA -Robot Interaction Language) for humans to communicate with these machines.

19.  What if God was one of us….? The Vatican would probably say that he’d be a dude, hanging out with the rest of the dudes! This governing body rejects the idea of female priests on the basis that Christ chose only men as his apostles.

Consider yourselves up to speed….

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