What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (3-9th July, 2010)


I’m not a bandwagonist! I’ve supported Spain from day one despite the verbal abuse coming mostly from Germany’s fan camp. So definitely, my World Cup victory came early when Spain whooped the so-called indomitable Germans this week. Only goes to show, things don’t always go as we expect!

1. I expected the Germans to be angry not hungry after their loss against Spain…But some Germans have been asking that, Paul, the live octopus that predicted their defeat be roasted.

2. I didn’t expect that in 2010 men would still resist housework… But a 29-year-old US man assaulted and held his mother hostage because she failed to iron his clothes.

3. I didn’t expect an untidy bed to have health benefits… But according to studies unmade beds are unappealing to house dust mites which cause asthma and allergies.

4. Who expects and welcomes hair in their food? Jam made using some of Princess Diana’s hair has been a hot seller in London.

5. I’m sure the Taiwanese fast food joints did not expect this… But dentists have fingered their over-sized hamburgers as the cause of the growing number of jaw injuries in that country.

6. I didn’t expect an 80-year-old woman to be so catty. This American granny was discovered living with 104 dead or almost dead cats.

7. Colombian police probably expect anything at this point when it comes to drug trafficking. They intercepted a replica of the World Cup trophy painted gold with green stripes but made from cocaine.

8. Researchers in the US found that women who lived close to supermarkets tended to be slimmer than those who lived close to restaurants. Expect some of your friends to move soon!

9. I expect money laundering to be a negative…But in Zimbabwe it is not always so. Zimbabweans carry their precious US$ bills in their under wears and shoes and when the money gets too filthy to handle they launder the bills in a washing machine.

10. Men are expected to sport modest haircuts in Iran and this country’s Culture Ministry has published a catalog of approved styles for men.

11. Doctors didn’t expect a healthy 30 something year old British woman to die from a heart attack while using a sex toy…But she did.

12. A Swiss psychotherapist expected to ‘expand the consciousness’ of his high profile clients when he gave them illegal drugs during sessions…But he should have expected to get in trouble with the law. Which he did.

13. Don’t expect to do your indecent dance to indecent lyrics at carnival parades in St. Lucia this year. The St. Lucia Carnival Bands Association has decided to delete music with naughty lyrics off their playlist.

14. Vybz Kartel’s song about the Clarks brand of shoes has been impactful. Sales, prices and theft of this product have all increased in Jamaica as a result. Did you fully expect such a report from our CARICOM comrades?

15. You’d expect humbled living in the priesthood…But a Catholic priest in the US stole over $1m from his church. He used that money to shop for designer clothes, go to strip bars and generally access an opulent lifestyle.

16. You always expect Osama bin laden’s name to be mentioned with a level of seriousness…But he is the subject of a humorous Bollywood film “Tere Bin Laden” (“Without You Laden”) due for release on July 16th.

17. Promoters from the United Arab Emirates are attempting to position camel’s milk as superior to cow’s milk as they prepare for a launch in the European market…But I expect to be fully lactose intolerant by the time it gets to the Caribbean.

18. Should we expect hospitals to be responsible for all healing (sexual healing included)?  A hospital in the UK had rented out some unused wards for the production of a big budget porn movie.

19. I expect a first time World Cup champion this year. Neither Spain nor Holland has won the title before!

Consider yourselves up to speed…..


One response »

  1. Pingback: Personal Care 101

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