What a Wick the last 7 days in 19 (22nd- 28th May, 2010)

Standard

Apple has surpassed Microsoft. And it makes perfect sense. Apple has demonstrated great creativity, and an aptitude for problem solving. No matter what problem you encounter, “there’s an app for that.” It’s admirable what they have achieved, but surely there is much left to be done, more market to target:

  1. An App would have  been beneficial to Jamaica in their ‘Dudus’ situation. The current state of unrest resulted from the attempts to extradite suspected drug lord ‘Dudus’ to the US to face trial.
  2. Regionally, only St. Lucia and the United States Virgin Islands registered double-digit growth in tourism in the region for the first quarter of 2010. It’s Appsolutely amazing!
  3. Kamla had something better than an App; she had the help of Obama advisors to become the first female PM of T&T.
  4. A British scientist who has a chip implanted in his hand has become the first human to be infected with a computer virus. It’s safe to assume that he has some experience with Apps.
  5. ‘Eyeballing’ which involves pouring vodka directly into someone’s eye has become the latest craze amongst UK and US youngsters. We need an App to see to it that this is stopped.
  6. The Duchess of York was caught trying to sell access to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, for 500,000 pounds. Word is she’s broke; she needs a paycheck more than an App.
  7. A US woman probably could have gotten an App to write “I will not dishonour myself by passing a school bus” 2500 times as ordered by a judge, but she refused to do the lines and chose a jury trial instead.
  8. A study found that 13% of Britons would more readily give up their partners than their TVs. In this particular case an App would probably be even more divisive.
  9. Parenting App? Or swift kick in the App?  A two year old Indonesian boy smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day while his parents look on in amusement. The boy’s father stated, “I’m not worried about his health, he looks healthy…he cries and throws tantrums when we don’t let him smoke. He’s addicted.”
  10. Sometimes you need more than an App; you need “a climate of trust”. This is what Britain hoped to achieve by disclosing the size of its stockpile — 225 warheads.
  11. One of Apple’s Chinese manufacturers is looking beyond Apps since 10 employees have committed suicide since January 2010.  Instead the company is asking its employees to sign letters pledging not to kill themselves.
  12. Australia plans to take Japan to International Court of Justice to end whaling. There are even Apps for down under.
  13. A Guyanese columnist got a bowl of faeces flung into his face because he wrote an anti government article. There shouldn’t even be an App for that! That’s so inconceivable.
  14. Don’t you wish there was an App to allow you to run like Bolt? In Shanghai he won the 200m in 19.76 seconds and was the only one to break the 20-second barrier.
  15. FIFA announced the world rankings before World Cup kicks off. The top five – Brazil, Spain, Portugal, Netherlands, Italy. No Apps, just pure talent.
  16. App needed urgently! A survey found that regular sized condoms are too large for most Indian men.
  17. Alicia Keys is pregnant with her first child. I’m sure she didn’t need any App for that.
  18. Researchers found that we can reduce the risk of heart disease by brushing teeth twice a day. This sounds way easier and cheaper than any App.
  19. The 1000th US service member was killed in Afghanistan; almost half of these soldiers were killed since Obama took office last year. Apparently the critics are building a case.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s