What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (13th to 19th March, 2010)

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Clichés, idioms and the like have gotten a bad rap! We are told to avoid them because they lack that va va va voom factor. They have become too comfortable, like old house clothes, and we’re advised to find a fresh wardrobe. But why apply so much stress on the brain when these communicate exactly what we mean sometimes. Don’t you get the points below?

  1. Time is short: The world’s shortest man (29 inches tall) died this week. He was only 21.
  2. Run for your life: An American man was jogging, with earphones on, when he was hit from the back and killed by a plane making an emergency landing.
  3. There’s no place like home: Barbados’ minister of education commented this week that “Even though we share the same Caribbean space, it does not mean we have to welcome everybody. Vybz Kartel and Mavado can stay in Jamaica.”
  4. Be the bigger person:  A 600 pound American woman aims to be the world’s heaviest woman. She’s on a diet (12000 calories a day) to reach her goal weight of 1000 pounds.
  5. An experience to die for: A Russian couple parked their car in a small garage and left the engine running while they had sex; they died from carbon monoxide poisoning.
  6. Dish the dirt: In a village in Indonesia, dirt is baked and eaten as a snack called ‘ampo’ which is thought to be healthy.
  7. That was cold- blooded: In Bangkok, protesters donated gallons of their blood and this blood was poured out in front of the prime minister’s office, to push for elections. This weekend they will paint the town red with ‘blood painting’.
  8. A bun in the oven: A US man, after drinking, and smoking marijuana put his 5 week old son to bed in the oven. Thankfully he didn’t turn it on.
  9. Don’t rock the boat: …says Bob Marley but one of his sons has written a book, blaming Rita Marley for preventing the ‘outside children’ from sharing in the wealth of the legend. The controversial book supposedly tells the “story the Marley family apparently didn’t want you to know”.

10.  Out of the woods: After months of scandal, Tiger announced this week that he will be competing in the Masters in April. He’ll be back to what he does best…well I am being a little presumptuous here.

11.  When the stars align: The St. Lucia Jazz line up was announced and it includes Ne-Yo, Corrine Bailey Rae and Shaggy.

12.  There is something fishy about this: In the US, a cable company mistakenly broadcasted two hours of the Playboy Channel on a children’s network.

13.  When in Rome:… Or in this case Dubai, act accordingly. A British couple will face a month in prison for kissing in public after a parent complained that her child witnessed the incident at 2 am!

14.  Keep it bottled up: Not boarded up! An Argentine man collected 6 million bottles and built a 5 room house.

15.  Not my cup of tea: Australian police jailed a Philippine tourist for five days because they’d mistaken the iced tea she had in her possession for drugs.

16.  Threw a curveball: Everyone is still talking about West Indies’ victory against Zimbabwe. It’s their first series win since 2008.

17.  All bent out of shape: A US dentist had been using paperclips for root canal procedures, instead of the required stainless steel posts, while still collecting money from Medicaid for the genuine part.

18.  A free pass: CARIPASS, a document which should make inter-regional travel easier, should be in use by July.

19.  Smile, you’re on candid camera: An 82 year old Brazilian priest was caught on tape having sex with an altar boy. When he saw the camera he didn’t smile though, just kept asking, “Who’s there?” “Who is it?”

Consider yourselves up to speed…..

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