What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (13th – 19th Feb, 2010)

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Way back then, Sweet Helen was like the Bachelorette – minus the cameras, but with all of the drama. Not even the most eligible woman can boast of having two big shot white boys literally fight for her affection for over 150 years. And after all that, Helen still ditched the victorious Englishman in 1979, to become a single, independent lady.

Sometimes in a relationship, a woman just knows when it’s not working out. When is it definitely time to call it quits?

1)      When things aren’t rosy: St. Lucia definitely got more than a rose this week when the segment of ABC’s “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” shot there, was aired. But I can’t say the same for the young lady who Jake evicted from paradise.

2)      When he wants to talk only when he is ready: Tiger Woods held a press conference of a select few, to address the revelations of the past months. The Golf Writers of America boycotted saying that access should have been granted to all media.

3)      When he says he needs his space: An American man was arrested twice on his wedding night for assaulting his new wife.

4)      When he wants to see other people: The anticipated meeting between the Dalai Lama and Obama took place; China is still fuming.

5)      When there’s so much pain inside: A Czech woman had been in pain for months before the source was finally discovered. Doctors had forgotten to remove a 12 inch long surgical tool from her abdomen after a procedure, five months before.

6)      When you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel:  In a funeral home in Colombia, a 45-year-old woman who was pronounced dead started breathing and moving as they prepared to embalm her.

7)      When he always wants to be on top: T&T’s Basdeo Panday denied reports that he is looking to leave the UNC to form his own political party now that Kamla is the new party leader.

8)      When he doesn’t treat you like you’re special: Sarah Palin accused the creators of Family Guy of being insensitive for mocking her son who has Down’s syndrome.  They responded by saying that the show is an ‘equal opportunity offender’.

9)      When you think you deserve better: The VVIP who paid $1600 to see Beyonce were apparently not pleased with the conditions.

10)  When you don’t feel like he stands behind you: Afghan Taliban militants have resorted to using civilians as human shields; they fire at their enemies behind a barricade comprised of women and children.

11)  When he causes a scene: A Russian managed to hack into a computer system to show a two- minute pornographic clip on a big screen overlooking a busy roadway. There was widespread chaos and an elderly driver had a heart attack.

12)  When he has no stamina: Dick Cheney says that Obama won’t last. He refers to Barack as a ‘one term president’.

13)  When things get complicated: A Japanese restaurateur turned simple and cheap ramen noodles into a meal which costs US$110 and takes three days to prepare.

14)  When you can’t live together: An American crashed his plane into an IRS building to show his dissatisfaction with the institution. He did this after posting a suicide note online.

15)  When you’re always fighting: Lucian Peoples Movements urged young people to continue to fight! Against poverty, that is.

16)  When he takes advantage of you: Criminals saw an opportunity to make money off the tragedy in Haiti and took it! They did this by setting up bogus charities online and encouraging contributions.

17)  When you two are not sole mates: A Seoul man was finally caught this week after he’d already stolen 1200 pairs of shoes.  The man would pose as a mourner at a funeral, where people remove their shoes as a sign of respect, then walk away in an expensive pair.

18)  When you have some weighty issues: A 528 pound Romanian woman became the heaviest woman known to have given birth in her country.

19)  When he doesn’t come when he says he will: LIAT suspended all service to St. Kitts and Nevis due to presence of volcanic ash clouds.

Consider yourselves up to speed…

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