What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (23rd -29th January, 2010)

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Sometimes I wish I could exchange my dark Gucci shades for simple rose-colored glasses because there is so much bad news out there! It’s so overwhelming at times, and I want to be able to look up in search of that proverbial silver lining, to remain sane. This Wick I’m going all Monty Python on you as I attempt to “… look on the bright side of life”. Wish me luck!

1)      In Haiti, a teenage girl was pulled from the rubble 15 days after the earthquake struck. She suffered from a broken leg and dehydration, but on the bright side, she was alive!

2)      An overworked dairy farmer from New York shot 51 of his 101 cows, then shot himself. But some have found the bright side by speculating that he tried to make things easier for his family by leaving the 50 cows that don’t need to be milked frequently.

3)       It came out this week, that the late Pope John Paul II habitually beat himself with a belt to remind himself of Christ’s suffering. On the bright side, that’s not what the pope died from in 2005.

4)      In Peru, doctors mistakenly amputated a man’s good foot. But on the bright side, when they realized their error, they took ‘corrective’ action by cutting off the infected foot as well.

5)      An Italian boy was so offended by his father’s advice to improve his videogame skills, that he stabbed his old man in the neck with a knife.  Is there really a bright side to this? What should we make of the fact that after stabbing his father, the boy went to the kitchen calmly, washed the knife he’d used and put it to dry?

6)      Panday was defeated as opposition leader, and current PM, Manning was busy feeling sorry for him.  But on the bright side, Trinidad could see its first female prime minister come next election.

7)      A German who hid 44 small lizards in his underwear to try to smuggle them out of New Zealand got caught and punished.  But on the bright side, the lizards were remarkably well behaved.

8)      Being a soldier is risky business. The Israelis are trying to make up for that by issuing soldiers new odour-free socks. These socks can be worn for a full fortnight without smelling up the feet. On the bright side, who wants to die with stinky feet? Right?

9)      In Israel, a man threw a shoe at a judge while in court. He used so much force that the shoe knocked the judge off her chair. Disrespectful eh? But on the bright side, there was nowhere to run; he was already in the embrace of the long arm of the law.

10)  An American woman died at 100. But on the bright side, she died just one day after fulfilling her lifelong dream of earning her degree in education.

11)  A Roman Catholic priest in the US was charged for stealing butter and a sofa cover from  Walmart.  But on the bright side, as a priest he knows firsthand that if he confesses, he shall be forgiven.

12)  Everything may not always be ‘shorely amazing’ in St. Lucia, but on the bright side, St.Lucians count! The 2010 census was launched this week.

13)  Being overweight has many disadvantages, but an Australian study found a bright side: older people who are overweight outlive those who are of average weight.

14)  In an audio message, Bin Laden claimed responsibility for the failed attack which took place since Christmas day. On the bright side, good leadership means not taking credit only for the successes.  

15)  A 13 year old Saudi girl was handed a harsh sentence for assaulting her teacher. She will receive 90 lashes and two years in prison. Harsh yes, but on the bright side, I can’t see her doing it again.

16)  Going out on a limb can yield disastrous results sometimes, but for a Bajan man there is a bright side. The 46 year old could not afford land so he built his house in a tree!

17)  We sometimes complain about the curse of technology, but a church in Poland found the bright side when they installed an electronic fingerprint scanner to check children’s attendance at church.

18)  By now you know about the disaster in Haiti. But what you may not know is that geologists are seeing a bright side – the earthquake may have revealed petroleum reservoirs that could help this poor country in the future.

19)  The president of Argentina may have upset Viagra producers this week when she said that pork was better for one’s sex life than Viagra. But on the bright side, little Pork City in La Guerre, St. Lucia got a worldwide big-up!

Consider yourself up to speed….

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