What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (9th – 15th January, 2010)

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Do you know that there is a Doomsday Clock? And that it was set back one full minute this week? It is now six minutes before midnight! The scientists responsible believe that at the stroke of midnight on this clock, (forget what the fairy godmother said) the world will end. We managed to shave off one minute by bringing about positive changes in the world. From a corporate perspective, here’s a breakdown of how we earned those extra 60 seconds.

1)      Bias for action: The world did not only watch the devastation in long-suffering Haiti, but also took action to provide aid in the wake of the 7.0 earthquake. Thankfully, Rush Limbaugh’s sentiments don’t prevail.  (10 seconds)

 2)      Committed force: An estimated 24 million eligible Chinese men may not be able to find wives come 2020. This imbalance stems from the abortion of females. (1 second)

 3)      Critical Thinking: The Vatican slammed the new movie ‘Avatar’, for encouraging the worship of nature above God.  (4 seconds)

 4)      Top of the line equipment: A church in London piled phones and laptops belonging to members of the congregation onto the altar and invoked God’s blessing on them. (5 seconds)

5)      Extensive networking:  Croatia’s president faces one of the biggest dilemmas of his administration so far. Here goes… one can have a maximum of 5000 friends on Facebook; Mr. Prez has met his quota, but he has an additional 7000 people waiting for him to accept their requests. (5 seconds)

6)      Good customer service: A Polish (how appropriate) prostitute earned 13.7 million in income but failed to pay taxes. She now faces a fine of 2.3 million. (2.5 seconds)

7)      All hands on deck: Due to Diabetes, each day, at least one Bajan loses a limb. (1 second)

8)      A big name: An 8 year old American boy bears the same name as a man on the terrorist watch list. As a result of this, the little boy always gets frisked at airports; he’s been patted down since he was 2 yrs old. (1 second)

9)      Consideration of alternative options:  China will hold its first ever Mr. Gay China pageant soon. (4 seconds)

10)  Tools to monitor performance: Sex toys are now big business in Barbados. Bajans are said to be “taking their bedroom life to another level”. (4 seconds)

11)  Clear, concise communication: An American man who obviously wanted to land in jail, handed a note to a Fedex Kinko  employee and waited outside the store. The note read: “This is a robbery, I will wait outside for police, sorry.” (5 seconds)

12)  A lean organization: In Sweden, a floor collapsed under 20 Weight Watchers who were there to check how much weight they had lost. (1 second)

13)  Optimism: Obama said this week that he believes that Tiger Woods can be rehabilitated. (5 seconds)

14)  Fair trade practices: In the US, a mother was arrested for attempting to barter her two year old daughter for a gun. (0 seconds)

15)  Secured assets: This week, the legendary Teddy Pendergrass died at age 59. (0 seconds)

16)  Recognition programs: Cricketer Ricky Ponting was voted Player of the Decade (4.5 seconds)

17)  New product development: Chavez has a plan to help fight crime and drug use among youths in Venezuela– socialist soap operas! (4 seconds)

18)  Guerilla marketing: T&T’s Prime Minister claims that we won’t be attending the Beyonce concert on the basis that he can’t afford it. Tickets range from TT $450 to $1600. (3 seconds)

19)  Outsourced services: In the Jamaican court this week, a contracted killer testified that the doctor who hired him to kill his wife promised to pay over $100,000 for the job. (0 seconds)

Consider yourself up to speed…

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