What a Wick: the last 7 days in 19 (2nd- 8th Jan, 2010)


Happy New Year all!

Happy New Year! What were your resolutions? Have you started on them yet? Can you even remember them? I heard somewhere that 95% of New Year’s resolutions are forgotten by the end of the year.  I don’t know how true that is, but here are 19 of some of the most popular resolutions we make. Let’s see how the world is faring just one week into 2010.

 1)      Keep fit: A naked jogger chose the front of the White House during near freezing temperatures, as his training ground. He was taken into custody and, therefore, could not achieve this goal.

 2)      Have better relationships: Rihanna starts off the new year with a new beau, in hopes of putting the issues of 2009 even further behind her. Curiously though, not only is her new bf a baseball player, but he’s one of his team’s best hitters.

 3)      Quit drinking: Mariah Carey looked a little sloppy when she accepted an award at the Palm Springs International Film Festival. She acknowledged that she was in fact drunk (Step 1 in 12), but she still has 51 more weeks to clean up.

 4)      Find new jobs: Two members of St. Lucia’s UWP submitted resignation letters. They cited the current government’s poor performance as the main reason why they are leaving their old jobs behind.

 5)      Secure some ‘Me time’: Buju is doing well at this. He was arrested on drug charges in December and spent Christmas behind bars. This month, he will also miss the Grammy Awards where his latest album is nominated.

 6)      Manage finances better: In what is still considered difficult economic times, Trinidad’s TSTT is still being extravagant. According to reports, the company will spend a total of 10 million on the Beyonce concert slated for February 18th.

 7)      Make some sacrifices: Ugandan witchdoctors obviously took this resolution the wrong way. These witchdoctors sacrifice the blood and body parts of captured children to spirits, so that their clients can attain their goals for 2010.

 8)      Find that special someone: PETA has found that special someone in Mrs. Obama. There’s no one better than the first lady to endorse their cause? Only problem is that she did not consent to the use of her image.

 9)      Enjoy life: “Nothing nuh wrong with it…” That was the response of a Jamaican to the idea of individuals having sex in public during street parties. Thankfully, not all Jamaicans hold that view.

 10)  Take a trip: A pickpocket decided to take his trip early. On an Air France flight and he stole 4000 euros from business class passengers while they slept.

 11)  Make smart investments: EU members are divided on the use of full body scanners at airports. On one hand, they consider the intrusiveness and associated health risks and on the other, their relationship with the US.

 12)  Be environmentally friendly: An American couple is aiming to collect 400, 000 cans for recycling (worth $4000-$5000) to enable them to pay for their wedding.

 13)  Quit Smoking: Former Olympic and world champion Justin Gatlin was suspended for 4 years after testing positive for banned substances. This week he sent a warning to Usain Bolt and Tyson Gay to prepare for a possible defeat when he returns this year. Easier said than done.

 14)  Don’t bail out easily: In St. Lucia, Lawyers for Donavan Lorde are still trying to get him bail despite the court’s initial denial.

 15)  Mind your diet: Seinfeld’s Jason Alexander is on track. He moved from being the spokesman for KFC to now endorsing Jenny Craig in an effort to lose 40lbs.

 16)  Lose some pounds: A millionaire was fined a record £ 182, 000 for speeding in Switzerland.

 17)  Go back to school: The 23 year old Nigerian who attempted a terrorist attack on Christmas day was indicted on 6 counts. He admitted to being schooled by Al Qaeda for the mission.

 18)  Try something new: Though Portugal is mostly a Roman Catholic country, the parliament has passed a bill supporting gay marriages.

 19)  Treat others better: The dawning of the New Year did not seem to decelerate the crime rate. Already this one looks unachievable both regionally and internationally.

 Consider yourselves up to speed….


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